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新婚的前一天,未婚妻飘飘突然告诉我,她还是放不下,放不下她的初恋郑洋。没等我反应过来,飘飘就迅速扑入我的怀中,边哭边向我说对不起。望着飘飘美丽的双眸,我心里腾起一股压抑的疼痛。从飘飘的眼睛里,我读到了无尽的犹豫和挣扎。

郑洋是我最好的哥们,英俊潇洒。当年他是我们学校最火爆的一个乐队的主唱。身后追他的女孩子成群结队,飘飘就是其一。我承认我没郑洋有魅力,也知道飘飘的确对她动了真心。她曾忘乎所以地迷恋郑洋,但郑洋并不爱她,最后在我的帮助下,和郑洋谈了一个月的恋爱。其实那时我就爱上了她,不忍心看她整天为郑洋伤心,才肯帮她完成那个心愿的。

只是郑洋那段感情,他并未在意,她却当真了。和郑洋分手后,一直走不出那段感情的阴霾。不过,我们的恋爱关系,是她亲口承认的。我也是爱她爱得太深,控制不了自己,才趁此机会向她求爱的。我想用我炽热的感情,融化她,给她受伤的心带来温暖和安慰。

未曾想,就要结婚了,我辛辛苦苦筹备了好几个月,把她当成心肝宝贝,呵护到无微不至;当我们马上就要踏上婚礼的殿堂的时候,她竟然告诉我,她心里还装着别的男人。这种事,换成任何一个男人,都会不堪忍受。

可是为了爱,我从不与她计较这些令人刺痛的细节。也不忍心向她发脾气,看到她娇嫩可爱的模样,我所有的怒气都消散了,只剩下对她的宠爱和怜惜。可是这次,我紧紧地抱住她,一句话也说不出来。我想,等过了明天,她就是我的人了,一切不愉快的过往都结束了,这也许是她最后一次留恋。

那将是我一生的伤痛和遗憾。每次想起,内心都会被悲伤所淹没。我觉得是时候该释放一下自己,鼓起勇气,把那些不堪回首的过往统统爆发出来。唯有面对,才是最好的解脱。越是逃避,越会纠缠。

这些年承受了太多太多,我怕我不说,永远都说不出来了。今天一吐为快,让所有的黑暗都随风而去,被岁月尘封,我要珍惜当下,和孩子,和爱人,重新踏上幸福的旅程,弥补曾经丢失的一切。

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结果却恰然相反。婚礼上,当飘飘再次见到郑洋的时候,旧情复燃,突然失控地朝他奔去。在众目睽睽之下,她让我蒙了多大的羞,丢了多大的人,我都不在乎了。关键是到了新婚夜,她还沉浸在对郑洋的思念中,为他守贞如命,不让我碰她。

一连好几天,她都神情恍惚,经常一个人发呆。最后,她恳求我满足她最后一个心愿。她说她要我帮她把她最美好的初次,献给郑洋。她说,只有这样,她才能彻底忘掉她。她知道这样对我太不公平,甚至有些荒唐,但她情难自禁,实在无法解脱自己。那一夜,我失眠了。天亮之后,睁开哭红的眼睛,掷地有声地对她说,我答应你。

约郑洋出来,宾馆开房,烛光晚宴,把他灌到喝醉,那夜的飘飘把自己打扮得和窗外的月光一样洁白漂亮,望着娇艳欲滴的飘飘轻轻搀扶郑洋的那一刻,我狠狠地甩上门,狂奔出去。怒吼声和雷雨声交融在一起,心里翻江倒海的难受,我几乎快要达到崩溃的状态。

事后郑洋扇了我几个耳光,骂我脑残。我一怒之下把他打伤了。多年的哥们情谊就这样决裂了。这件事虽然过去很多年了,虽然飘飘没有违背承诺,从那以后,对我忠贞不二,还为我生了一个健康活泼的小宝宝,可是我是多么地后悔,后悔让不理智的她错误地放纵。


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